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Elopement Etiquette | What you need to know!

Is there such a thing as Elopement Etiquette?

Planning a wedding today takes a lot of time and money. Which tends to equal stress. The average cost of a traditional wedding is upwards of $20,000! This rules out the budget of a lot of newly engaged couples. Pamela Paul, author of The Starter Marriage and Future of Matrimony, says "They're sort of thinking it's either $25,000 on a wedding or $25,000 on a down payment.” So it makes sense that couples are choosing to elope more now than ever before and are asking if there really is an elopement etiquette. Traditional or not, Elopements are in! Elopement Etiquette Eloping has had a negative connotation in the past. However, it’s not about rebellious teenage courthouse hitchings anymore. Instead, it's couples choosing intimacy and affordability. A typical elopement today is more defined by simplicity, a beautiful destination, and a short guest list. This turn from the rebellious to being a type of wedding means that you have some elopement etiquette that you can use to guide your wedding planning.

Elopement Planning

First off, spending a little time planning will make your small wedding personalized, less stressful, and more memorable. Actually, businesses are starting up around the country to help! For example, “Flora Pop” is a traveling pop-up elopement company offering planning services for small ceremonies of 15 people or less.

Elopement Etiquette

Whether you wait until after the deed is done or you’re inviting them to attend, let your family know! A personal invite over the phone or even sending a formal card works fine. Do what makes the most sense for you!
Are you a wanderlust bride?
Avoid unpleasant surprises by taking into account questions like these when planning your destination ceremony:
  • Is there a waiting period after your marriage license application?
  • What documentation is required (drivers license, birth certificate, divorce decree from former marriage, etc.)?
  • What is the cost of a marriage license?
  • How much does the pastor or judge charge to perform the ceremony?
  • How much does it cost to hold the wedding at the venue of your choice?

Next, Consider the No-Brainers of a Traditional Wedding for your Elopement

Send marriage announcements!
Let your friends and family celebrate with you even if they couldn't be there on your special day! After some enough time has passed for them to receive the announcement, try sending them an email with photos of your wedding and honeymoon! Why?They’ll get a sense of involvement this way and will enjoy hearing about your adventures. Plus, you may not want a big wedding, but that doesn't mean you don't want to share the best day of your life with all the people you love. This is a great way to do just that.
To register or not to register?
Go for it, especially if you are having a small post-marriage reception! Really, it's a good idea to let your loved ones support you. Plus, it's never a bad thing to let them shower you with gifts as you start your life as a married couple. You can always add your registry to your marriage announcement. Although, you don’t want to forget to send thank you cards out as soon as possible!
What other considerations would you recommend taking for a small elopement ceremony?

Share with us in the comments below or comment #wedcollectibles on social media with your ideas.

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The Best Marriage Advice You'll Ever Hear...

Britt from Bachelor Engagement

The Best Marriage Advice You'll Ever Hear...

For today's blog, we decided to ask a question of as many people as we could possible connect with to hopefully give our brides easy access to what real brides, real couples, have found to be the truly best marriage advice they have ever heard. Check Out Wedding Collectibles on Facebook!   Earlier in the week, we shared on our Facebook page what some of us at Weddingcollectibles.com have found to be the best advice, but we thought our brides and grooms deserved a much larger sample size! The thing is, a lot of relationship and marriage advice will end up contradicting itself. This is because every person and relationship is a little bit different (that and people love to spout cliches for the heck of it as they sign your guest book). So this list represents what we saw popping up the most and we quoted who we think really said it best! The top 10 advice from the thick of it: 
  1. "I just saw a video clip from Will Smith lately. He says that it is not our partners job to make us happy, it is our own responsibility. Once you remove the expectation of your partner to make you happy you can enjoy them for who they are." - Tiffany
  2. "Listen.. don’t just hear! " - Carin
  3. "You have to want to be kind more than you want to be right." -Heidi
  4. "As cliche as it sounds, it is definitely true! “Never go to bed angry”. My husband and I have been together 6 years, married for 2, and have a 9.5 month old. We do disagree sometimes and get in the bed angry, but we always talk it out and work it out right before we fall asleep. Definitely has helped us!" - Maria
  5. " 'Always fight naked because then your problems just won't seem that important anymore'. I always write this in couple's guest books when they want a little note. Someone wrote it in mind and it just stuck with me. It was kind of a joke, but when you think about it, it's kind of cool. When you are both hands down vulnerable with each other, it's a lot easy to get over being mad." - Kim
  6. "Don't ever stop dating and getting to know each other. People always talk about growing apart, but if you keep getting to know one another as you go through life, it's a lot easier to still know and love each other." - Debbie
  7. "Do the opposite of "It's better to ask for forgiveness, than permission". That line just doesn't work in a marriage" - Kevin
  8. "Limit money talk to small daily check ins. You've got to both know what's up and be on the same page, but leaving it till you've got problems or talking about it for hours is just going to create frustration." -Kayla
  9. "Play hooky. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the day to day things. Be sure to break it up and be spontaneous. Have some silly fun!" -Cheri
  10. "Say I love you in your spouses love language. Some people just need to hear, other's need gestures, and other's physical contact...whatever it is, figure out your spouses love language and say I love you every day" -Demi
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What is the Difference Between Porcelain Cake Toppers and Resin Cake Toppers?

So...What is the Difference Between Porcelain and Resin?

This is a common question at Wedding Collectibles because most wedding cake toppers are going to be made of one or the other. To answer this question I will go over the qualities of both, noting some pros and cons of each. It is important, however, to know that whether you should buy a porcelain cake topper versus a resin cake topper will depend more on what is important to you. Porcelain  Porcelain Cake Topper Porcelain is a ceramic material made similar to the way that glass is made, involving heating or firing of material such as clay.If it breaks, you will notice that the texture of the broken surface will feel powdery, demonstrating that the material is made of smaller materials or grans. However, unless it is dropped or hit with something it isn't going to break. Porcelain is a material that doesn't ware away or in anyway disintegrate. These are known for being a high quality cake topper. Why?
  • Porcelain lasts longer. The color and shape won't fade or distort (unless you drop it and it breaks!)
Like most things, there are some disadvantages to Porcelain cake toppers as well.
  • The major disadvantage is that is can't hold edges very well. What this means is that if the edge or detail is too thin, it will collapse on itself. If you have a porcelain cake topper, you do not need to worry about this happening. This would only occur while making the figurine, meaning that it limits the kind of details you are going to find in the cake topper.
  • Expensive Material. High quality porcelain cake toppers do tend to be more expensive, but not necessarily out of budget. If you are looking for a long lasting keepsake, porcelain is well worth the money!
Resin  Resin cake toppers Resin or Stone Resin is an increasingly popular material for wedding cake toppers and figurines. Why?
  • Resin can be intricately detailed, meaning that your cake topper can have more detail.
  • It can be cheaper than porcelain, but still maintain a similar look.* (See exemption in Cons below!)
Some Cons for Resin cake toppers
  • Resin actually yellows over time, so if you buy a resin cake topper you may find the white to be looking a little less...white. If you display it in an area that has a lot of sun, your cake topper will easily be yellowed within a year. Whether it sits in the sun or not, it will yellow, the sun just speeds up the process.This is why if you plan on your cake topper being a keep sake that you will have around for a lifetime or more, you may want to look at something other then Resin.
  • The cost is increasing! Resin is most basically a high grade plastic. For a long time this meant that the cake toppers could be made at a lower cost, but the cost of this material is going up. Making the cost difference between Resin and Porcelain to not be so much of a difference.
You will find wedding cake toppers made of both materials because you can get a high quality cake toppers with each. Whether one is better than the other will depend on what you want to focus on. If you are looking for a top of the heap porcelain cake topper, Lenox is known for producing high quality porcelain. Then, one of the most popular makers of resin cake toppers and figurines that you may be familiar with is Willow Tree. Wedding Collectibles carries both of the above brands and produces our own. We work diligently to produce the best cake toppers at an affordable price. You can trust that affordable, in our case, will not mean sloppy work.

If you have any more questions on these difference please feel free to post below or give us a call!!

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Engaged on Valentine's Day?

Ruffled Cupid’s Arrow Valentine’s Day Inspiration

Engaged on Valentine's Day?

Valentine's day is typically a holiday that people see as a dividing holiday; those in love and those that are not. This is has always been something that makes me sad because the heart and sole of Valentine's day is to celebrate love. It doesn't necessarily have to be romantic love either. Everyone loves and is loved by someone somewhere. Be it a best friend, a family member, or a significant other. This concept of enjoying and celebrating love is what makes Valentine's day so wonderful, romantic, and a perfect day to pop that big question.     Ruffled Dreamy Valentine’s Day If you watch that Facebook feed you may find that so many couples get engaged on Valentine's Day. It isn't unoriginal and it doesn't take away from your engagement. Think about how excited you are right now. Now think about the idea that hundreds or more other women are just as excited as you are. Is it not amazing to think that there are so many women and couples that are happy and excited and not weighed down right now? And you get to be a part of it! Now, with so many couples getting engaged on Valentine's Day, that makes the day after a day of perusing wedding sites and starting to realize how many decisions and tasks go into putting together your dream wedding. Don't stress! One of the many benefits of not being the first woman to ever have to plan her wedding is that there are tons of resources and tools that will help you handle the madness that truly can be wedding planning. Ruffled Fuchsia + Yellow Valentine’s Day Here are a list of Blogs and Resources that may be Helpful to you: While I do believe it will be a good idea for you to peruse through these resources, particularly those that will help you get organized, I would like to implement the 3-day rule. While this is typically applied to calling after that wonderful first date, it needs to be applies to that wonderful engagement as well. For those first three days after being engaged enjoy it. Get excited, maybe browse wedding pictures, but otherwise avoid the pressure of already planning the wedding. You should celebrate for a few breaths before you dive into the wedding celebrations. Take three days to just be happy. Then dive in! Ruffled Dreamy Valentine’s Day So if you were one of those lucky ladies that got engaged on Valentine's Day, get offline now and go cuddle with your fiance!
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Bridesmaid Dresses: To Match or Not to Match, That is Every Bride's Question

Bridesmaid Dresses: To Match or Not to Match, That is Every Bride's Question

Wedding Bee One of the many wedding cliches that everyone likes at and every bride's potential bridesmaid fears is the ugly bridesmaid dress. There have been years of wedding and generation of bridesmaids that have endured ballooned sleeves, satin, velvet, lace worthy of a doily, and prints that can be found in your grandmother's left over quilting scraps. It is like a train of "What was she thinking" and five minute trends.Now, we realize that some of what we call ugly today, may have truly been the style ten years ago, but the thing we are hoping to help you avoid is being in that list of ugly dresses ten years from now five years from now, next years and the day those horridly wonderful curtains walk down the aisle. 

Would You Rock These Hideous Bridesmaids' Dresses? « Read Less What your bridesmaids wear is going to be a direct reflection of your (the bride's) taste and since having ugly dresses is such a cliches, it is going to be something everyone will look for. So, what are the danger zone and how can you avoid fitting the cliche? Let's take a look at the options. 1) You pick everything head to toe and everyone wears the same dress. Hot Pink Bridesmaid DressesLet's go on a little journey. Think about the families you see at Disneyland or tourist attractions that are all matching. If the kids are all under five it might be cute, but any older and it could tip on the tacky side. Depends on how it is done? Okay. Now remember your family photos. Is anyone a little too matchy? Is it over bearing? A little? Still sometimes cute? Okay, now think about your bridesmaids. Do they all have the same hair color, skin tone and body type? No. Then they are not going to look good in the exact same thing. (ie. don't put a red head in bright orange, hot pink, or red and don't put someone with really pale skin in pale peach. It just won't translate very well. We don't say this to bash on matching bridesmaid dresses, as you can see the very first picture in this post has bridesmaid in matching dresses and it looks great, but we just want you to be careful because this is the highest danger zone for falling into the cliche. If you really want to have all your girls matching, then take them with you shopping. This doesn't mean you need their opinion per se, but so you can see how everyone looks in the dress options. Or, take a look at option two.  2) Pick one element, they pick the rest (perhaps with some guidelines).

{Wedding Trends} : Bridesmaids in Skirts - how to styled, accessorized and mix-match This really is the best  middle ground option. It works best if you pick out a skirt for all the girls to wear and then have them find and pick out their tops, accessories, or shoes. Other things you could do is pick out a cardigan, statement necklace, or matching shoes. Once you have sent out the piece you are require them to wear, they can then fill in the rest. It is, of course, usually best to give them a color palette to work from so that everyone coordinates with each other and your overall wedding look, but, other than that, let them decide. This gives you flexibility, but also allows you some more control.  3)Pick a color and they pick the rest. The Secrets of Successful Mismatched Bridesmaids This option is for the bride that doesn't have her heart set one everyone matching or would like one less thing they need to fully decide on. The idea here is that each bridesmaid would be told what color scheme you want and then would be given the freedom on deciding what to wear. By doing this, you allow your bridesmaids to find things that they will feel beautiful in and will want to wear again. If you are worried, you can have everyone send you pictures if you want to keep tabs on how everyone will coordinate, or if everyone is local, you can have a girl's day shopping trip so that everyone can work off of each other and find what they want.

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Three Fun and Corny Date Ideas

Always Date Each other

You're in love and you're getting married. That is the end goal for the relationship right? We grow up playing barbies, ken and barbie date and then once we have decided they are in love they get married and that's that. Every Disney princess movie ends in that fairy tale wedding, happily every after, the end ( at least until they make a sequel that makes you cringe). In real life relationships there will be moments that you will be caught up in the romance and butterfly feeling that will move your love story right along to the wedding bell ending, but that is just the thing, that decision to get married and being married does not end the necessity to court and woo one another. So, here are some light hearted date ideas to help remind each other the point of the five page wedding planning check list. 

 

Ice Skating Around the World

1: Rollerblading or Ice skating.
This is an especially fun one if neither of you are very coordinated. With this date you can hold on to each other, or if one of you is rollerblading adept, one can help the other, and this will keep you physically close throughout the night. Then, with the very real possibility of falling over and looking ridiculous, you open yourself up to be a little vulnerable. If being vulnerable together is something you have a hard time with, this date would be a perfect exercise or way of tricking yourself into letting your guard down a little more. Plus, there is bound to be a photo booth at your local roller rink that you can squeeze on into and take those silly and cute photos that are designed especially for making memories.

"GROOM (under new management)" Wedding Transfer2: Make a Bet.
Let us explain. Buy coordinated Bride and Groom t-shirts or iron-ons and go out to the mall, a theme park, or otherwise crowded place. Before leaving, each of you place a bet on the number of times someone asks you about your wedding, openly stares, gives you a "I'm a stranger, but I am happy for you" smile. Then, simply keep a small notepad in your pocket or purse and as you go throughout the day mark down the responses. The one whose guess was closest can receive a "prize" of whatever sort you decide upon before heading out. You can, and should, of course do date-like things while the bet is going on, but this can add an extra twist and inside laugh for the day for you and your groom.

A Weekly Fangirl Discussion: A Couple That Plays Together Stays Together3: Geek Out.
Rent your favorite two player video game - be it a childhood favorite or your current weekend unwind. This can be fun because it can bring out the competitive nature of the most tame person. You may want to establish a "I am actually really frustrated by this game" safety word, but otherwise enjoy some junk food, and see how creative you can get with your smack talk.

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How to Keep it Classy When Using a Sporty Cake Topper

How to Keep it Classy When Using a Sporty Cake Topper

Heidi and Kevin Wedding - Laura Shepard Photography A newly married bride, Heidi, met her husband on the basketball courts of her college gym. She was in gym shorts, a quick ponytail, and was a force to be noticed. And she was noticed by an equally sweaty and probably smellier Kevin. They flirted (smack talked), then dated (Heidi wore here hair down), and were attracted to each others athletic, spunky, and kind (good sport) attitude. When planning their wedding they wanted to implement that basketball game meeting. Before their guest arrived, they "played" a little one on one and "shot hoops". Heidi in her wedding dress and Kevin in his suit. Heidi also decided to wear cute tennis shoes as her wedding shoes at her reception and put Kevin in matching shoes in order to bring in the sporty and fun personality of their relationship. Heidi and Kevin had a beautiful wedding and a equally lovely reception, but were able to include their sporty (and possibly more frizz haired and smelly) side.  Another simple way to do this is to include a fun, sporty cake topper. This is a small element, but will be center stage on top of your wedding cake.

Basketball Dream Team Bride and Groom Couple Figurine

What we love about this cake topper is that it plays on that sweet flirtation the lives the strongest at the start of the best romances. It is a cliched move for a guy to "show" a girl how to do things like bowl, golf, shoot a hoop, as an excuse to get closer together. Choosing a cake topper like this is an inspiration and a promise to always make excuses to be close together. This would a be a tasteful addition to help you add a little fun to your wedding decor without sacrificing the class of that traditional bride and groom cake topper. 

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How to Choose Your Wedding Party

How to Choose Your Wedding Party Wedding Collectibles Who Makes up the Wedding Party? When trying to figure out who is in the wedding party, you have to navigate first what cultural or religious traditions you wish to uphold. For example, for many christian weddings a candle lighter will light candles at the wedding alter before the mother of the bride is seated. If you decided to include this tradition as part of the ceremony, the candle lighter (usually a pre-teen; ages 10-13) is a member of the wedding party. Or in a Jewish wedding you may have Huppah carriers, and they would be considered a part of the wedding party, or since in many Jewish weddings it is not traditional to have an official wedding party, then they would be a part of the Shushavim (those close to the bride or groom that help with the wedding - for more information see Attendants: A Glossary of Who's Who in the Wedding Party). For a more basic wedding party, the members will include: The mother and father of the bride,mother and father of the groom,maid of honor,best man,bridesmaids, the groomsmen, junior bridesmaids/groomsmen, pages/train bearers, the flower girl, the ring bearer, and ushers. Overwhelmed? Don't Be! SO Whose Who?
  • Mother and Father of the bride and groom: Don't sweat it, this one is decided for you! However, if your parents are divorced and remarried you can feel free to include their new spouses and if you were raised by your grandparents or another relative, they would stand in here. It is up to you!
  • Maid-of-Honor: The maid-of-honor is exactly how the movies portray her. This is your bestest and closest girlfriend or sister. She has been by your side through the thick and thin, perhaps is the friend you grew up with or the one that makes you feel like she has always been there. She is the sister you compete with, but when the bomb drops she is there picking you up and planning revenge on whoever dropped that bomb! If your she is actually a he, that works to. The maid of honor is also considered and called the honor attendant or the best person. Using one of these titles allows for any gender to be the bestie you have at your side throughout all the wedding planning. 
  • Best Man: The best man is basically the male version of the maid of honor. He is the brother or the guy you consider a brother. Or just like the maid of honor, he could be a she and would then be that best person or honor attendant.
  • Bridesmaids: These are your best gals. The ones you trust to be a support and help through the wedding. They will be the ones that help you address invitations, navigate through the florist crisis, and plan that wild bachelorette party. You can consider the maid of honor as the CEO of the bridesmaids.
  • Groomsmen: Again, groomsmen are like the male version of the bridesmaid. Their most obvious task is to plan that bachelor's party, but they also have the task of keeping the bride from murdering the groom before the wedding; ie. making sure the groom isn't late, doesn't miss appointments to pick out ribbon colors, and isn't hung over during the ceremony.
  • Junior Bridesmaids/Groomsmen: These are your bridesmaids and groomsmen that are on the younger side (Aged 10-17). Junior meaning quite literally junior. They can match the bridesmaids and groomsmen or you can dress them in a younger and more modest look that still coordinates with the rest of the party. 
  • Pages or better known as Train Bearers: These are the cute kids (age 6-9) you have that walk with you down the aisle carrying your dress train. If you don't have a train, or do not need someone to carry it for you, then you will not need a page. 
  • Flower Girl: You can have 1-2 flower girls (Age 5-9). Some will just walk the aisle with a bouquet, or if you want they can carry baskets with flower petals and scatter the petals as they walk. Either way, they help make your grand entrance, so just remember that the younger the flower girl, the less control you have over her choice to or to not eat the flower petals. 
  • Ring Bearer: The ring bearer will carry the ring down the aisle and hold it for the groom. This can be a young boy (age 5-9), but like the flower girl, you want to be careful he won't decide to eat the rings. Another option for this is to have the honor attendants carry the rings. 
  • Ushers: If you have a large guest list, you may include ushers. These will be those who you have help guide the guests to their seats. Groomsmen

How Many Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Should I have? We would suggest having no more than six for each group, making a total of twelve, but even that may be too big. Try trimming it down to three or four each. Perhaps have your two honor attendants, and then six bridesmaids and groomsmen total.  What about my cousin and my brother's girlfriend and my brother's girlfriend's sister? STOP. Only choose bridesmaids and wedding party members based on their relationship to you and your groom. If you have best friends that fill the list for potential bridesmaids, you don't even have to ask your sister. Granted, you may want to sit her down and let her know, but it is not a requirement. Only ask those who will be able to support and help you through the wedding and who you have a close relationship with. Many people even consider bridesmaids to be a role specific to friends of the bride and that a sisters role is simply sister of the bride.  

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Bridesmaid Gifts: Three Options for a Great Gift

Bridesmaid Gifts Why They are Necessary To Answer the question, "Do you have to give out bridesmaid gifts?", the answer is technically no, but YES.  Each and every Bride is unique in taste, style, and situation, so to say you have to do anything might seem silly, but it is better etiquette to give gifts. Why? The girls or women you ask to be your bridesmaids, well, they are your girls! You ask them because they are your family, your best friends,and the girls that have been there for you always, so now that you have set them apart from the rest, it is the perfect opportunity for you to say thank you. You are saying thank you for their support and help in planning your big day and for all their love and support throughout life. It is kind of a big deal.  3 Ideas for a GREAT Bridesmaid Gift

Medallion Necklaces Multiple Options Available

  1. Jewelry: You might see this as a duh gift, but that is just what makes it number one on our list. Jewelry is great because you can use it to say something sentimental, sweet, and just-between-you-two.  Wedding Collectibles has a wide selection of unique necklaces and bracelets, as well as a selection that can be engraved in order to personalize it for each of your bridesmaids. When deciding on a gift, we suggest to really stop and consider what it is your bridesmaids will appreciate most, which is why we highly recommend necklaces like the one above.  This is a gift that could be worn at the wedding, and your bridesmaids could wear it throughout their everyday life. Additionally, if you want to do something a little extra, a necklace, bracelet, or pair of earrings, can be given alongside a jewelry boxWhite 3pc. Ikat Print iPhone 5, iPad Case & Sleeve Set - Save 20%
  2. Technology Cases: This gift might seem a little less affectionate, but it is perfect for a bride and bridal party that lives right along the pulse of modern society. You can decide between a bright or more subtle color pallet, to choose to give a set for all their technology devices or to just pick one, and you have the option of cases that can have the bridesmaids entire name on it or just her initials. It's bright color options, personalization, and current attitude, make these gifts a perfect bridesmaid gift!"bridesmaid" Wedding Transfer
  3. Just For a Bridesmaid: What we mean by this type of gift is that it is a gift set aside specifically for a bridesmaid, so much so that it will most likely say bridesmaid somewhere on it. Some fun ideas for this gift include, t-shirts, sweats, jackets, make-up cases, and the bridesmaid survival kit! These type of gifts are a great way to celebrate the wedding day and their role in it. 
 
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Warm Weather Wedding Tips

It’s no wonder that summer is such a popular time of year for weddings – your chances of getting rained on drops sizably, family vacation time is being cashed in, and you can almost guarantee a sunny day of happiness and frolic. The only problem is the potential for some serious warm weather. You don’t want your guests fried and flustered during your nuptials, so plan ahead! Here are some tips for beating the heat during your warm weather wedding:  
Shade it Up When you’re evaluating your wallet for your outdoor wedding, it might be easy to check “No” when you’re asked about optional tenting, but you should think about the shade opportunities of your space. If the weather gets severe enough, and you haven’t provided any shade, dehydrated guests will start dropping in energy, and fast. If you can’t pull off the tent, make sure there are umbrellas or trees or other sources of ample shade for your guests. At a more formal affair, you might even consider distributing individual shady umbrellas to your guests. Use the Programs Venues during the summertime (especially those without central air) tend to get a little warm. Many of the places where you find wedding stationary will likely have program hand fans – programs printed right on to hand-held fans for your guests. You can make them available at the front of your ceremony space or have your ushers distribute them. They’re fun and bright and might just keep everyone cool enough to live through the ceremony.

  1. Make some Baskets
    Courtesy baskets are an optional collection of goodies that many couples provide for their guests either in their hotel or during the reception. Though these baskets usually sport mouthwash and safety pins, think about also offering bottles of water and sunscreen (especially for out of town guests who might not have thought about it). Tie the baskets with ribbon that matches your wedding colors to keep everything cohesive and the baskets won’t look out of place at all. Your guests will thank you when an afternoon of sun doesn’t leave them looking a lobster-fied!
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Finding the Right Words for Poor Etiquette

Until it becomes possible to disappear when a friend, relative, or stranger asks you an obviously inappropriate question about your wedding, we must find new ways to dance around sensitive issues. Not everyone knows that asking about the bride’s weight is not alright, and questions about the guest list are none of their business. Here are a few comments that will probably pop up during the planning process, and some suggested responses:     “How much did (the dress/the ring/ the reception) cost?” This person probably isn’t trying to be rude, they’re just curious about the details of your day and it’s the only way they could think of to start a conversation about it. Then again, it’s possible they are trying to be rude by measuring you based on your presumed monetary worth. Either way, try not to counter with aggressive or snarky responses. The best way to dance around this question is to change the subject entirely, providing details or a story about the item in question instead of answering directly: “Oh! Do you like it? I was just so surprised when _____ proposed!” Or “It took me six weeks of hunting to track this dress down, but it was fun bonding with my mom.” Hopefully, the inquirer will catch the hint or be glad to be talking “wedding” with you, even if the price tag stays out of it. If you feel close enough with the person (like a good work friend), you could always address the issue of finances in a light-hearted manner: “A good shopper never tells!”     “Why isn’t _____ invited?” Guest list issues are not the business of guests, period. For all they know, there is a very good reason your stepmother isn’t coming, or your shallow second cousin has not been asked to be the maid of honor. Make this answer short and sweet – you don’t owe any explanation for your decisions, and discussing it will do nothing but stir up unwanted drama. “Unfortunately, ______ couldn’t make it. Have you tried the soup shooters?” “______ has been so busy with school lately; I didn’t want to burden her with bridesmaid duties. Have you tried the soup shooters?” It can be a little more complicated when the question is about the exclusion of a guest’s children. If a couple was asked not to bring their young ones and they see a few kids on the dance floor, they may ask for an explanation:
“Unfortunately due to the restrictions of the venue/size of the wedding/budget, we could only accommodate the children of immediate family.” The best way to avoid this is to let kids in or out unanimously. Exceptions are hard to explain, and some of your guests could feel alienated.     “Do you want children?” You’ll get this question way more than you could possibly expect, but answering with any sense of finality (“No. Not in a million years; no.”) will only be met with a: “You say that now, but you’ll change your mind.” Avoid it with a less-final answer like “We’re really just focused on starting our life as a married couple right now.” Or “We haven’t even started thinking about things like that with all of this business with the wedding!” To the inquirer, it’s just a question regarding the next “logical” step of adulthood. Obviously, things have changed, but you don’t need to stage a feminist revolution at your next “Bunco” game. If all else fails, go for broke and dish out some of my favorite answers:
“Why? Are you selling some?” “You know, when we yearn for the pitter-patter of little feet, we buy a dog. They’re cheaper and you get twice as many feet.”   And finally: “Are you going to lose any weight for the wedding?”
When in doubt, change the subject.
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Financial advice for your wedding

When you are planning for your wedding finances, then you need to read the details of the contract before signing it. It is a must. A verbal agreement may not be same as what is written in the contract. In wedding the most important contracts are life insurance, vendor agreements and the prenuptial agreement. You must go through every clause diligently before you actually sign it. Do not rush. Try and understand everything that is written. The most difficult part of your financial planning for the wedding will be the caterer. The bill will have components like the cost per plate, taxes and gratuity. You must scrutinize the bill thoroughly before paying it. You can pay tips if you are really happy with the caterer. If you do not wish to shell out the extra amount, you can even write a nice letter of praise that the vendor can use for prospective clients. Tipping is essential in cases where your musicians have played overtime; or there is a delay from your end where your vendors had to wait. This is an indication of your professionalism. All in all, you need to plan a budget before the wedding and try and stick to it.
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