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Elopement Etiquette | What you need to know!

Is there such a thing as Elopement Etiquette?

Planning a wedding today takes a lot of time and money. Which tends to equal stress. The average cost of a traditional wedding is upwards of $20,000! This rules out the budget of a lot of newly engaged couples. Pamela Paul, author of The Starter Marriage and Future of Matrimony, says "They're sort of thinking it's either $25,000 on a wedding or $25,000 on a down payment.” So it makes sense that couples are choosing to elope more now than ever before and are asking if there really is an elopement etiquette. Traditional or not, Elopements are in! Elopement Etiquette Eloping has had a negative connotation in the past. However, it’s not about rebellious teenage courthouse hitchings anymore. Instead, it's couples choosing intimacy and affordability. A typical elopement today is more defined by simplicity, a beautiful destination, and a short guest list. This turn from the rebellious to being a type of wedding means that you have some elopement etiquette that you can use to guide your wedding planning.

Elopement Planning

First off, spending a little time planning will make your small wedding personalized, less stressful, and more memorable. Actually, businesses are starting up around the country to help! For example, “Flora Pop” is a traveling pop-up elopement company offering planning services for small ceremonies of 15 people or less.

Elopement Etiquette

Whether you wait until after the deed is done or you’re inviting them to attend, let your family know! A personal invite over the phone or even sending a formal card works fine. Do what makes the most sense for you!
Are you a wanderlust bride?
Avoid unpleasant surprises by taking into account questions like these when planning your destination ceremony:
  • Is there a waiting period after your marriage license application?
  • What documentation is required (drivers license, birth certificate, divorce decree from former marriage, etc.)?
  • What is the cost of a marriage license?
  • How much does the pastor or judge charge to perform the ceremony?
  • How much does it cost to hold the wedding at the venue of your choice?

Next, Consider the No-Brainers of a Traditional Wedding for your Elopement

Send marriage announcements!
Let your friends and family celebrate with you even if they couldn't be there on your special day! After some enough time has passed for them to receive the announcement, try sending them an email with photos of your wedding and honeymoon! Why?They’ll get a sense of involvement this way and will enjoy hearing about your adventures. Plus, you may not want a big wedding, but that doesn't mean you don't want to share the best day of your life with all the people you love. This is a great way to do just that.
To register or not to register?
Go for it, especially if you are having a small post-marriage reception! Really, it's a good idea to let your loved ones support you. Plus, it's never a bad thing to let them shower you with gifts as you start your life as a married couple. You can always add your registry to your marriage announcement. Although, you don’t want to forget to send thank you cards out as soon as possible!
What other considerations would you recommend taking for a small elopement ceremony?

Share with us in the comments below or comment #wedcollectibles on social media with your ideas.

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An Elopement Checklist: Right for You?

Not all couples want a big to-do when they get married – many decide that it’s better for everyone to simply slip away and enjoy a wedding without guests. But how do you know you’re choosing to elope for the right reasons? Is elopement even right for you? Here’s a quick checklist to decide if a private elopement is what you really want: Are you independent?
It’s not that all independent couples will want to elope, but couples who are particularly attached to the presence of their families may find elopement isolating. If you’d always hoped to share this moment with more than just your other half (and you’re trying to find out how to ship a bunch of people with you on your “elopement”), you may be eloping for the wrong reasons. You can still have a small destination wedding instead if being alone seems like a big loss! Are you hurting anyone?
While eloping is ultimately your decision, and how you start your marriage should be something you discuss primarily with your partner, family members and friends are usually a big part of the wedding process. Will your parents ever forgive you if you leave them out of the wedding? Will your fiancé’s brother be crushed that he didn’t witness the wedding? Try to discuss your decision to elope with these people before you run off. It’s often unclear how important this process is to people before you ask them about it.   Are you going to miss the gifts?
If you elope, you won’t receive much in the way of gifts and pre-wedding parties. If you’re a fan of fanfare and spice racks at weddings, an elopement probably isn’t for you. But if you want a private exchange of vows away from prying eyes, bachelorette parties, and registries, you probably won’t feel like you’re missing anything too important.   Are you going to do a “do over” wedding later?
The urge to get married immediately can sometimes overwhelm an excited couple, and they may decide to off and elope before they have a chance to throw a big party – the “real wedding” might be planned for a later date. However, the elopement was their “real wedding.” Some guests are put off by “do-over weddings” (or early “vow renewals”) as they sometimes seem a little gift-grabby. If you want a big wedding, it’s best to hold off and have the real thing when you can do what you want with it.   Are you making this decision out of stress/spite?
Wedding planning is overwhelming, and sometimes the culmination of issues and stresses can push a couple to giving up and calling the whole thing off. While these are sometimes viable reasons for more private nuptials, you shouldn’t make these decisions too hastily. Give yourself time to decide what is right for you as a couple – don’t let anyone else make a decision like that for you.
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