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Blog / advice to the bride

How to Plan Your Wedding Without Stress

Wedding Stress got you down? Check out Exquisite Bride If we are all being honest here, we know that there is a certain level of stress to be expected in planning an event like a wedding. Below are five strategies to help you keep that stress level down, if not get rid of stress entirely!

Hire a Wedding Planner that you Trust

A wedding planner can truly be a godsend when getting ready for your wedding day. Which is why hiring one is on our de-stress list! Your planner takes the brunt of the work while you point, say yes, no, and describe your dream wedding. We have one recommendation though: make sure the wedding planner you hire is the right fit before you dive deep! You may hear every once in awhile a horror story about a wedding planner that "ruined" the wedding day. This is why it is important to hire someone after you have met with a few different planners and been able to sift through a few reviews. Then, when you do hire someone, make sure communication is easy, open, and clear. Often these horror story wedding planners come more from a miscommunication of expectations, rather than complete incompetence.

Give Yourself Enough Time

If you are planning a big wedding, you have to know that you will need a big timeline. A time crunch is often one of the biggest stresses of wedding planning. Do yourself a favor and pick a wedding date far enough out to actually accomplish the creation of your dream wedding. With that being said, you also have to stay on the ball and not procrastinate your planning! Give yourself time and you will give yourself peace!

Go on a Mini-Vacation

If you feel the stress mounting, take a break. Go on a weekend getaway and forget about wedding plans for a few days. OR if you don't feel you can take a weekend, enjoy a spa day or doing something you truly enjoy and leave that wedding planning binder at home!

Don't Take it too Seriously

Your wedding is meant to be enjoyed. It doesn't matter if you are going for an elegant affair or playing it up with a Shrek Fairy tale theme. If you can't let go and see that in the long run, something going wrong on the wedding day isn't the end of the world. Well...let's just say that the chances that everything is exactly perfect for the entire processes is slim and you should be enjoying your last days while you can.

Journal Therapy

This one is easy. Unless you absolutely hate writing, but even then, you can modify it to your needs. Journal writing (venting) is a great way to release your pent up stress, sort through your feelings, and gain perspective. Keep a wedding journal to help you manage your stress AND document memories of the days leading up to that magical "I Do".
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How to keep from going "Bridezilla"

Image result for bridezilla

First. The term bridezilla kind of sucks.

It's one of those terms that are rooted in the idea-however subconsciously- that assertive women are ridiculous for being assertive women. And further, that being assertive women, they are bossy and other B words, rather than confident, powerful, and intelligent. A bride that is called a bridezilla often takes offense. Which, she should as she has effectively been told that her wants and her assertion of those wants matter less or that she isn't expressing them in the right way. Image result for bridezilla It's true that a brides wants shouldn't really supersede the well being or even the wants of anyone and everyone else. However, the idea that any bride that advocates for herself is a bridezilla needs to be squashed. Rather than naming a very specific behavior, it lumps together any bride - or person as it has branched out- that is unwilling to bend to any pressure as negative. Perhaps the problem isn't so much the word, but it's flippant use. The fact that it get's thrown around in order to tell a woman that she is being selfish and to get her to chill out is more manipulative than it is helpful. Name calling is incredibly powerful as it is the base of how we understand our world. Language is names: We attach experiences and meaning to a word (symbol) and then when we apply it to a thing, that thing becomes those meanings. In this case, the thing is a person. When you think about it, it isn't exactly fair to exert that kind of control over anyone (let alone a bride on her wedding day). Image result for bridezilla So, when you hear the word 'bridezilla' and bad TV shows with crazy women come to mind, you can see the problem with calling any bride or any woman bridezilla; erasing her identity and rewriting it with her new name.

So, how do we keep from resorting to the bridezilla?

  1. If you feel walked over, talk about it.
    • Just because we're suggesting it's not fair to label your bride as bridezilla, doesn't mean you shouldn't express the fact that you don't feel heard. Create a conversation that says just that, rather than an accusation that is demoralizing.
  2. Ask why.
    • If your bride is being really specific in what seems to be an unnecessary way, try asking why. Most of the time, understanding motive deflates any frustration you may feel as you triple check ribbon lengths.
  3. Take a step back.
    • If you feel yourself heading to the bridezilla zone, take a step back. Don't walk out, but look at the big picture that maybe even your bride can't see right now. Wedding planning is a huge stress on everyone, but a lot of that stress rests on the bride's shoulders. See that and your might see her a little differently.

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Financial advice for your wedding

When you are planning for your wedding finances, then you need to read the details of the contract before signing it. It is a must. A verbal agreement may not be same as what is written in the contract. In wedding the most important contracts are life insurance, vendor agreements and the prenuptial agreement. You must go through every clause diligently before you actually sign it. Do not rush. Try and understand everything that is written. The most difficult part of your financial planning for the wedding will be the caterer. The bill will have components like the cost per plate, taxes and gratuity. You must scrutinize the bill thoroughly before paying it. You can pay tips if you are really happy with the caterer. If you do not wish to shell out the extra amount, you can even write a nice letter of praise that the vendor can use for prospective clients. Tipping is essential in cases where your musicians have played overtime; or there is a delay from your end where your vendors had to wait. This is an indication of your professionalism. All in all, you need to plan a budget before the wedding and try and stick to it.
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