How to Tell Someone They Won't be a Bridesmaid
When you get engaged you are going to be face with a million decisions big and small. One of which will be who to include in your bridal party. This can be difficult if you have a lot of friends and family members that you care about and have been important parts of your life. Really, to have so many people in your life that are important to you is a blessing, but when it comes to narrowing it down for your bridesmaids, it becomes a curse.
First, there are all the women that you want to ask to be a bridesmaid, then there are those that you are obligated to have as a bridesmaid, and finally, there are those that expect to be a bridesmaid. For the women you want in your bridal party, it is easy as pie. Those that you are obligated to have may cause a little stress if your numbers are getting too high, but obligation doesn't always mean you wouldn't want them in your bridal party anyway. Really, the problem child in this group are those that expect to be a bridesmaid. When you are choosing your bridesmaid, chances are you really want all those girls in your life as bridesmaids, but you can't have everyone. So, when you have friends or family that make it clear that they expect to be asked, it can make things really hard.
Note to friends of the newly engaged bride:
It is an honor to be asked to be in the bridal party, but it is also NOT a statement to not be asked. So, don't call up your newly engaged friend and chat about how excited you are to be a bridesmaid. Call them up and congratulate them. It is, after all, not about you!
So, how do you tell someone important to you that you won't be asking them to be in the bridal party?
Take a Deep Breath: Remind yourself that this day is about you and not them. Of course you don't want to be rude, but you don't need to accommodate anyone either.
Talk in Person: If it is someone that expects or would be expected to be a bridesmaid, it is a good idea to talk to them in person, especially if it is family.
Don't list off the people you did ask: If they really wanted to be a bridesmaid, but didn't make the cut, don't remind them of everyone that did.
Keep it simple: You can explain to them that they are important and that you want them involved, but that you only had a limited number of people you could ask. Just don't tell them why you decided to pick someone else over them.